Life Lately

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Lately I’ve been somewhat stuck, trapped in the questions of college, identity and the massive future that is already happening. So much in our life is out of control which is equally comforting and terrifying. Because anything could happen.

I wish there were answers for all the questions I have, but I am working on accepting that this is part of the beautiful part of life. Not knowing. Letting the answers unfold. Learning and discovering my own truths and not those that are just written in books and told to us by people who “know things.”

I believe that it doesn’t matter how much of the world has already been seen by everyone , it hasn’t been seen or discovered by you and that’s all that matters. Tonight I drove up to Gross Resevoir with my best friend and we just sat and watched the sunset. It is crazy to me how when you are away from everything, nothing matters except what rights in front of you. It is very hard not be distracted by everything when immersed it all. Yet, when you take a step back, everything becomes crystal clear.

Being twenty-one is not easy. It’s not difficult. It just is.

It’s magical and terrifying because everything is always changing in terms of what we know, believe and want for ourselves and the world we all live in.

I find it very ironic that I lost my phone while going to relax and be away from my phone.

After getting back to Boulder, I stopped by a camera store to pick up some photos and asked the lady behind the counter if she had any thoughts about life. She told me to tell the people I love that I love them everyday. She shared that she lost her mom seventeen years ago and not a day goes by that she doesn’t think of her and wish she could just say I love you one more time. Or even picks up the phone and realises that she can’t call her. It made me realise that it’s all good. Despite the messes we find ourselves in or think we find ourselves in…it’s all good. Because everything can change and will change.

No matter who you are, where you come from and the circumstances you are in, we are all feeling the same things and want the same things. I think that part of my struggle lately has been accepting my humanness. I am so human sometimes its painful. It’s not like I think I am superhuman, but being human can often be uncomfortable. But in that discomfort is beauty.

Because it is truly all good. 

There isn’t a lot that I am certain of at this point in my life, but what I do know is that friends and family mean everything. I also have great faith that the best is yet to come. And that’s how I think we should all be living, the best is yet to come…

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