Who I am Not…Not Who I am

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Hi! Mostly to my mom who is the only person who reads this except isn’t reading this because she has no idea that I am back to blogging and has 13921038921 unread emails that she hasn’t opened including the one notifying her to stalk her daughter again.

I took a massive break from the online world and real life to re-evaluate a lot of things. The last few months have been the most life changing, eye opening, inspiring and challenging. It has been painful, beautiful and most of all has lead to some amazing friendships, conversations with family and personal evolution that I could have never imagined.

The hardest part I struggle with having this blog or any sort of presence that is not in real life is the judgement and perception that I know everyone is making….good and bad. Because I love photography…but an image is just an image. And sometimes, these images paint to the world a picture of who I am not…not who I am.

Who I am not…Not who I am.

 I know that I am supposed to care what people think of me and that those are their feelings. But I do care. Because I am human and despite that I know that opinions of strangers don’t matter to me..it still can hurt. I genuinely only care about the opinion of the people who I care about and love me…but words do hurt. None of us are impenetrable beings and thank goodness for that.

So…with that being said…please be patient with me as I continue to work on this little creative outlet of mine while also continuing to live in real life.

In the last few months, one comment someone made to me really stuck out and made me question a few aspects of myself and how I live my life. They told me that I was too nice of a person. I was immediately insulted and went quiet. But then I thought about it…maybe they just have never been around genuinely nice people who don’t want anything from them except their company and to chat?

And what a treacherous thing that is. A few minutes later, I returned to this person and thanked them for the insulting compliment and told them that I hope one day someone tells them that they are too nice.

Because kindness never goes out of style and nice people will always win at life.

See you soon (mom).

Just kidding…If you are reading this…awesome. I probably misspelled several things already.

-Kaila

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