Dating in Shanghai

I gave thought about writing this post for a while and there is no better time than the present! When I moved to Shanghai I was in a relationship and had confidence that it would work out long-distance and I had viewed my move as not forever. However, after only a few weeks it ended in what was a very unfortunate way as I was cheated on. I definitely did not see it coming and it was a huge shock to me. I don’t write this to shame anyone in the situation, but as a way to share my experience and let’s face it all we’ve all had breakups and unfortunately cheating is not an uncommon in relationships. People can say what they want about long distance relationships, but I think they can really work if both people are committed to making it work with a plan to eventually live in the same area again. That’s not my story but this is!

Ultimately months later as I have reflected on the situation and my experience, I am grateful it happened. I have learned a lot from it and I think I came out of it a better person. I have created and found such happiness here! While it would have been fun to have someone else along for the ride, our love relationships don’t define us and there is so much more to life. Despite how hurt I was, I believe everything happens for a reason and I’ve come to terms and figured out how to make sense of those reasons for me!

“I think it’s so important to protect your own happiness.”

After taking some time for myself, I decided to explore dating again which is something I hadn’t done in a year Considering I was in a relationship. I have been on my share of dates here in Shanghai, and none of them led to anything beyond that first date. I think it’s so important to be protective of your own happiness! The plus side of dating people is I’ve discovered some great new restaurants that I don’t know if I would have found on my own. I have only been on dates with expats and not any Chinese guys.

It’s fun to get to know other people and explore connections, but I haven’t met anyone that I want to make space for in my life. Expats are an interesting breed of people and there is a certain understanding that we all have no idea how long we will be in Shanghai. Shanghai is a country that expats come in and out and very few stay more than three years. I also was cautious of expats (maybe unfairly) and wanted to know why they picked Asia with a curiosity if they were just into Asian girls. I understand everyone has types and such, but there is a certain culture and stereotypes (that can be true) around Asian girls that I am very aware of.

I’ve decided to put my love life on hold for now and not seek out or welcome any dating at all into my life for now. I feel like my life is so full and beautiful and want to focus only on that! I have really wonderful friends here and the cutest little students in the whole wide world. Plus, whoever comes into my life better be a super awesome extra fabulous human.

I have so many wonderful adventures planned in the next few months that have me so excited! I also will be welcoming a friend next week and some Coloradans this summer!

Lots of Love!!

Kaila

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